In the Gallery of Once-and-Future Masterpieces

A few times, I've had a dream wherein I fly/hover/float through the "museum of all past and possible art works" - labyrinths spanning thousands of miles and filled with sculptures, wall works, hanging works, works suspended in midair by some unknown technology, and so on. Of course, I only get to see a tiny portion of the collection, a room or two, before the alarm clock zaps me back to mundane reality; I awaken with new images of interesting, coolest-of-the-kool, hottest-new-thing, awesome wow-ers that I could create, a dizzying extravaganza of temptations.....

When I'm in the museum of all possible artistic creations, I never notice how the wall works are framed, even *if* they are framed. In waking life, I don't tend to notice frames either - don't notice if they're made of gilded scrollwork or antiseptic steel, if they're hanging straight or tilting at 45 degree angles. Likewise, I tend to get my frames at the Salvation Army thrift store, recycled and environmentally-correct frames, hand-me-down frames that are good-enough as long as their glass isn't broken and they're sized correctly. Cracked wood, flaking paint, a chipped edge - Who cares? Isn't the buyer probably going to take the thing to the nearest frame shop and spend a fortune so that the frame matches the sofa (or perhaps, the color of his ipod)?

Unfortunately, many judges of artwork do notice frames. One juror supposedly automatically rejects from a show any work that's poorly framed - "A sure sign that the artist isn't serious about his work, doesn't respect his work. Putting good art in a bad frame is like putting a painting on the sidewalk during rush hour in Manhatten or like dressing a model in baglady rags". Good for comedy or irony or political commentary, but not good for serious art (And yes, art must be serious and taken seriously by all).

Idea for an art show: Lots of work hanging, but what faces the viewer is the *back* of the frame. The viewers seriously ponder each hanging: Hmmm, an aesthetically pleasing juxtaposition of wire, screws and steel bars, a comfortingly rustic combination of maple slats and plywood backing.

Probably the show, called something like "This Way to the Hangings" or "We've Been framed" would get rave reviews. Silly enough to seem mystifying and thus meaningful - and thus appealing to those who pride themselves on being avante-garde.